We want to do a destination wedding with just the two of us and have a reception when we come back. Bad Idea?
My fiancee and I have not gotten along with our families for a long time. We are planning a destination wedding but it will only be the two of us. Our families are upset but we are planning on having a reception when we get back. (wanting to get married in Tuscany) what do you think?
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It is a great idea – go italia and have a wonderful time. It is about you not the family. Have a great time!
My MOH’s mom actually told her to do this. She got married in Vegas and had a reception when she got home, so they had lots more money to spend actually celebrating. I think some of my family would be hurt but I think it’s a good idea if you’re into it.
Avoiding the problem by having a destination wedding won’t make it go away. Whatever bs is happening before you go away will ALL be waiting for you when you get back. Also, your parents and famioly members on both sides will likely have some wistfulness for not being there, which will probably manifest itself by them continuing to be horrible. Basically, you might be causing more problems than you are solving.
As long as you know that going in, and that in-law troubles are responsible for more divorces than anyone talks about, and that you BOTH have to take on your own family crap as a couple once you’re married (ie: anyone on YOUR side causes trouble, YOU deal with it – anyone on HIS side causes trouble, HE deals with it), and if you’re ready to take this on … then go for it.
The two of you MUST be vigilant to not let family chaos and bs not come between you. If you can keep your senses of humor intact, that will help a lot.
Best of luck ! Tuscany is gorgeous.
I think it is a good idea in your case. I mean if you don’t get along wwoth your family a wedding is going to be torture instead of the most beautiful day ever. If it feels as the right choice for you do it this way.
In fact I think this is more of an elopement than a destination wedding. Good luck
You are basically eloping, not having a destination wedding. A destination wedding implies that other people will be there, even if it’s only a few. It is fine to have a reception when you come back, but you have to realize that you are basically agreeing not to have a bachelorette party or bridal shower. You also should not have any attendants at your reception, and probably not wear a white dress. Some people might think that it’s rude or that you are soliciting gifts.
If any of this bothers you, you should get married where you are and have the honeymoon in Tuscany. If it doesn’t, you should go for it. You will probably save money this way.
It is always better to get married LEGALLY in your home state/home country first (secretly or discretely), and then have “a second ceremony” at your destination. Why? Because when you arrive at your destination you do not have to worry about a waiting period or applying for a marriage license or time consuming paperwork. Wedding coordinators in hotels and resorts arrange ceremonies for Brides and Grooms who would like to have “a second romantic ceremony” every day of the year.
Also . . you can only have A RECEPTION on the day you are married. You can have A PARTY or A CELEBRATION any day but you can only have A RECEPTION on your wedding day. Your invitations can say “A Celebration in Honor of Mary and John’s Recent Wedding on June 1, 2009.”
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
it’s your wedding. just the two of you sounds romantic. your families should be supportive of what you want because it’s your day. maybe try to film it that way they can see. but it’s your day. don’t let them guilt you. i[m not very close with my family either, i usually only see them on holidays, so when they made a stink about not being able to see me get married i asked very bluntly, “i don’t see why, you don’t seem to have too much of a problem not seeing me all the rest of the time.”
my theory is to not accommodate people into your life who aren’t willing to accommodate you back. i can’t understand why not seeing on my wedding day is more important than missing the other 364 days in a year of my life. do what you and your future husband want. have a great time!