How do I approach the subject of giving a wedding gift at a destination wedding?
We are having a destination wedding and have already been fielding questions from those invited regarding airfare, hotel, transportation. It seems that many people are either not able to come or they will be coming on a shoestring budget. We expressed to our guests that if they are unable to make it we completly understand and hope that they think of us on our special day. As we know it is an expense, should we put somewhere in the invite that a gift is not “required” or not needed. How do we include that information so as not to make anyone feel uncomfortable, whether they want to give or not give, it will be up to them and we are just happy to have them there.
Thanks!
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Technically a gift should never be required so I think it would be tacky to print it on the invite. You could have the guests RSVP to you by phone, since you’re noticing that many are contacting you will questions anyway. When you talk to them I would say, “You’re being there would be the best wedding gift you could give us, but if you can’t make it, we’ll understand.”
Just tell them that their presence is the ONLY present required of them. Gifts are not needed.
(Considering that gifts are never required to a wedding anyway!)
Gifts, whether you want them or not, should never be mentioned on invitations. It may seem noble to you, but stating something like that on an invitation would imply to some that you were expecting gifts (even if you’re not, that’s what it would imply).
Don’t bother saying anything. Those who can’t bring a gift won’t, and those who still want to will, regardless of what the invite says.
on the response card you could write something along the lines of ” In Lieu of gifts, just your presence is wanted”
don’t mention anything about gifts on the invitation. It’s tacky
I agree with many points made by previous posters.
Don’t mention anything about gifts with your invite.
(I personally don’t even care for registries…)
If someone actually “asks” you then you can speak openly/honestly to them….
I suspect that most of those closest to you who CAN’T attend due to the expense, would probably still send you a gift/token of some sort in their absence.
And those who DO fork out the expense of attending, may not feel quite as compelled, offering their presence and face-to-face congrats as their “gift”.
Your guests will determine themselves what they do, if anything and to what extent.
CONGRATS on your upcoming wedding!
if you really want something on there, you could put the name of the hotel you are staying at, and they can donate gifts through the hotel- ex: spa day, day with the dolphins, couples massage, etc. (if these options are available)
It is selfish of you to ever expect guests to shell out money to even go to a destination wedding never mind buy a gift for one.
The type of wedding you have is your choice. But, like all choices we have to live with the outcomes of it.
I recently was invited to a destination wedding in the Bahamas. I had to decline. It would have meant using my vacation time on a vacation that I did not want to go on and money that I had set aside for the vacation that I wanted. The bride was all pissed off at me, until even her and her fiance’s families began telling her that they were not going.
Destination weddings are nice, but remember that aside from money, you are asking people to cancel their vacations for one of your choosing. If you can accept the results, then enjoy your wedding.